It’s pretty fucking common, unfortunately.
It’s called femme invisibility in most queer circles. There’s a great article about a butch that decided to one day wear leggings here that pretty much sums up what it’s like to be queer and present yourself as even very slightly feminine. Not only do you get flak (or rejected) from your fellow queers, but you also have to put up with shit from non-queers that try to “convert” you back to straight or also assume your sexuality. Because the way you present yourself says a lot about who you’re attracted to, right?
There are all sorts of ways to be queer, not just one kit of clothes and hair and skin for everyone. Unfortunately, both queer and non-queer people alike forget that and instead try to pick apart the basic appearance of people to conclude if they “fit” or not. We are not Barbie Dolls molded to queer perfection, we are people with diverse needs, appearances, and sexualities.
There’s really only one thing to do about it: Keep doing what makes you happy. Because the people (queer or not) that tell you that you can’t be queer because of how you look are wrong, and more than that, they’re being stereotyping, narrow-minded and further stigmatizing an already stigmatized group.
It’s eerily similar to the same stereotyping bullshit that people spout off to categorize any minorities by saying "Black girls can’t do x…" and "Jewish boys don’t like x…." Stop right there, because I’m pretty sure you don’t know every single person of that race, sexuality, gender or creed on the planet, so you don’t get to make broad, sweeping statements about their persons.
I look pretty fucking “feminine,” whatever that means these days. I like looking feminine, I enjoy putting on makeup and lacy bras and garters. I also like getting off to girls. I really like getting off to girls in my makeup and lacy bras and garters. If that makes me somehow “less of” a queer, then my brain and body definitely weren’t aware of it. So anyone who tells me otherwise, I tend to just ignore. They’re on the wrong side of history, anyway, and just can’t handle all dis.
As someone whose current appearance came into being long before my sexuality ever came into play, 100% this. ^^^
|My Brother:||Is it illegal to expose yourself to a blind person?|
|My Brother:||Why is it called a building when it's already built?|
|My Brother:||If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?|
|My Brother:||When something is shipped by ship it's called cargo, but when something is shipped by car it's called a shipment...|
|My Brother:||If love is blind, then why is lingerie so popular?|
|My Brother:||Why is impediment so hard to say when used to describe someone who has a hard time talking?|
|My Brother:||What's the speed of dark?|
|Me:||-awake forever trying to figure out all the answers-|
So I was watching one of those elephant documentaries and some guy walked over to the elephants and the elephants all crowded round to look at him and stroke him with their trunks.
And it reminded me how when there’s a cat in the garden my entire family will go out and cuddle it.
Elephants think humans are cute.